I hope you are all enjoying your holiday and having a great spring break. Passover is almost over but I have a few last minute passover treats for you:
If you have left over Matzah try this recipe for Chocolate Covered Matzah with Sea Salt. It is delicious. I made it for Seder this year and everyone loved it:
And for a little Passover humor, check out this video from one of my favorite Jews, Jon Stewart from the Daily Show. Seriously, watch this, it is HILARIOUS!
You can check it out here:
My husband and I always host an informal seder at the end of Passover for our friends. It is more causal then the first and second night seders we go to and usually involves the
30 Minute Seder Haggadah.
This year my father-in-law sent me this even shorter, tongue-in-cheek alternative. We won't be going this short but I thought it was worth sharing for laughs:
The link is here:
Two Minute Haggadah: Slate
The Two-Minute Haggadah
A Passover service for the impatient.
Tonight at sundown, Jewish families across the world will take part in one of the faith’s most hallowed (and dreaded) traditions: the Passover Seder. The symbolism-laden service can be as interminable as it is important. But don’t fear! In 2006, Michael Rubiner condensed it into a painless two-minute affair. Uncork the Manischewitz—his original article is reprinted below.
Opening prayers:
Thanks, God, for creating wine. (Drink wine.)
Thanks for creating produce. (Eat parsley.)
Overview: Once we were slaves in Egypt. Now we're free. That's why we're doing this.
Four questions:
1. What's up with the matzoh?
2. What's the deal with horseradish?
3. What's with the dipping of the herbs?
4. What's this whole slouching at the table business?
1. What's up with the matzoh?
2. What's the deal with horseradish?
3. What's with the dipping of the herbs?
4. What's this whole slouching at the table business?
Answers:
1. When we left Egypt, we were in a hurry. There was no time for making decent bread.
2. Life was bitter, like horseradish.
3. It's called symbolism.
4. Free people get to slouch.
1. When we left Egypt, we were in a hurry. There was no time for making decent bread.
2. Life was bitter, like horseradish.
3. It's called symbolism.
4. Free people get to slouch.
A funny story: Once, these five rabbis talked all night, then it was morning. (Heat soup now.)
The four kinds of children and how to deal with them:
Wise child—explain Passover.
Simple child—explain Passover slowly.
Silent child—explain Passover loudly.
Wicked child—browbeat in front of the relatives.
Wise child—explain Passover.
Simple child—explain Passover slowly.
Silent child—explain Passover loudly.
Wicked child—browbeat in front of the relatives.
Speaking of children: We hid some matzoh. Whoever finds it gets five bucks.
The story of Passover: It's a long time ago. We're slaves in Egypt. Pharaoh is a nightmare. We cry out for help. God brings plagues upon the Egyptians. We escape, bake some matzoh. God parts the Red Sea. We make it through; the Egyptians aren't so lucky. We wander 40 years in the desert, eat manna, get the Torah, wind up in Israel, get a new temple, enjoy several years without being persecuted again. (Let brisket cool now.)
The 10 Plagues: Blood, Frogs, Lice—you name it.
The singing of "Dayenu":
If God had gotten us out of Egypt and not punished our enemies, it would've been enough. If he'd punished our enemies and not parted the Red Sea, it would've been enough.
If God had gotten us out of Egypt and not punished our enemies, it would've been enough. If he'd punished our enemies and not parted the Red Sea, it would've been enough.
If he'd parted the Red Sea—(Remove gefilte fish from refrigerator now.)
Eat matzoh. Drink more wine. Slouch.
We will see you this Sunday, 4/15 for an Israel themed Family Day! See you soon!
-Suzan
